Hi!! Happy end of summer!
It’s like mid-august already like woah. Life since November has been one big, gray, sad blob of time. I got put on leave from school back in January. I don’t want to get into it but it was a bummer and it could’ve been avoided if I would’ve done things better and I’m still pretty ashamed about it. I took a break from internet stuff to like 1) be super sad but I took some time to look back at what I did and my last semester and just these past three years and figure out what I wanted out of school/comics/life. I tried to be as critical about what I felt being at Hampshire and I’m super appreciative of my time there and all of the generosity and encouragement I experienced. It was a good school where I learned a lot, met some amazing people, connected with faculty that helped change and think about what art/making is to me, and without having spent that time there I wouldn’t be who I am today. But it wasn’t for me anymore/isn’t for me now or maybe it never was the right school for me in the first place. And that’s ok! I’m glad I went and I’m really sorry about how that last year went down but there’s no taking it back. I have apologies I owe to those who’ve been nothing but honest, encouraging, and generous to me when I didn’t feel deserving of any of those things and I have a lot of growing up and maturing to do. Yeah, just taking it all with me and trying as best I can to move forward and not make those mistakes again.
In retrospect, it was good! It just took a while to feel ok again. Like, yeah just a lot of time to feel shitty and not know how to talk to anyone about it or what to do next. But things are starting to feel better now! I’m living in Florida with my family again and am starting to take some classes part-time at Valencia College for now. I don’t have everything set as of this point and that’s ok I think. It feels like things are moving in a good direction. Like something really exciting is in motion. I’m amped!
And I’m amped to show yall all these drawings!
Here’s some stuff from November ’12-April ’13:
(a drawing I helped my little sister make <3)And that’s all from that sketchbook!
Back/front covers adorned with rad stickers Inés Estrada/inechi, Mimi Chrzanowski/bbytown, & Iasmin Omar Ata/machinamar (and a qt lil elephant that Katrina/milkbonedampxerox gave me) + cuties stickers, etc. <3here’s some other stuff before I started the sketchbook I currently have(around late april/may-ish):
(also! peep this siiiick comic my little cousin and i started making together called Blade Ring! s/o to my 10 year old cousin for being the best!):
(Here’s some stuff I drew for it while we worked on part 2!):
then some other stuff:
And lastly, here’s this new/most recent sketchbook!
Here’s some drawings from may til early july:
AND THAT’S IT! FOR NOW!! AAAA!
(yo wow that felt like it took a millions years to scan/put together but I’m glad it’s finally real and a thing and wow drawings!)
There’s another post waaaay shorter with some more recent stuff queued to post soon then idk when’s the next time I’ll be at the library or have access to a scanner. I like keeping it monthly though so who knows! Maybe there’s a scanner at this school or I’ll finally save and get my own flatbed bby (aiming for the latter!!). Also after this post, I’m gonna go through this blog and clean some stuff out, no more los campesinos lyrics after this, gonna fix up my cargo, etc. Word!
As far as life/art stuff as life goes, I’m not where I wanted to be or where I’d thought I’d be at my age but like what the fuck did I know when I made all those goals and what the fuck do I know now (not much still!!!!!). so I’m not where I wanted to be but that’s cool and who knows, maybe what’s next will be something super rad that I’d never imagined before. And that’s chill/I’m into it.
Like, I’ll never like any other artist I like/look up to but I will always be Emely Barroso. and even if I don’t “make it” and I just go through life making stuff that 12 year old me always wanted to make or silly drawings to make my friends and myself laugh then so be it. At this moment right now, I’ve never been more sure that this is what I’ve wanted to do and yeah I’m paranoid and frustrated but everyone one feels like that! And they do great things, so what’s stopping me from being someone like that?
I’m 20 and I like to do this one dinky, time-consuming, frustrating, personal, draining, indulgent, amazing and satisfying thing that’s like the only way I know how to communicate to others. Comics are what I do. Comics are what I’m going to do for as long as I can. I love them!! And even if no one else believes me, like, I believe me. I believe in me a lot! I have a loooot to learn but I have complete faith that I’ll get my shit together and make my comic dreams possible. Or even if I put my all into it and I reach a point where it doesn’t feel right anymore or if the love that I have stops, that’s not the end of me either! But that’s not the case now, so I just gotta try and change and re-work and power through the neg feelings and etc to make as many stories as I can. Like, I just have to do! I want to! And I’m going to!
WOrd, get hype for me!!! Or if not that’s ok, because I’m hyped for me! And for my friends and the future <3
(Haha, I wanted to keep the text apart of this post short since there’s so many images but whatever!)
Lastly, I wanted to give a shoutout out to all the friends, family, and just everyone. Yeah, thank you to all my sweetie friends (who I’m sorry I made worry!!) who reached out to check on me/help me figure things out and have just been so supportive and caring and the best. s/o to yall and thank you so much and much love and yall rule! (I’m missing names but yo dailen, melissa, meeks, isaac, cassie, cj, pam, simon, all my old school homies, all my providence/nua and internet homies and everyone in between who has ever put out posi vibes for me or has been nice to me. Love yall!!) Also want to give a shout out to Kyle (Rigged Books), Sloane, Darryl Ayo, Your Dream My Nightmares, Cartoon Book Club, Tell Me Something I Don’t Know, and every interview/podcast that helped keep me going and made me want to work more! I’m really excited to be alive in a time where so many people have so much love for what they do and are so articulate and critical and give me so much hope and make me excited for (the future of) comics.
Thank you everyone for everything ever! <333
Here’s to the rest of ’13 and for a radder more productive 2014!,